The Clumsy Balance of Social Media

Back in 2021, I deleted my Instagram and Facebook accounts. They were creeping into too many hours of my day and I could feel them tugging me from my family. At first, I waffled and second-guessed the decision, but after a couple of weeks, my days became more intentional. Conversations with friends became deeper. I had more patience with my children. The transformation was fascinating.

It wasn't a coincidence that I threw myself into my writing, declaring how glad I was to say goodbye to social media and how determined I was to keep it at bay. I cherished my newfound creative freedom.

While I chugged ahead on my novel, though, I also missed out on things. Harry Potter week at my local gelato shop. Community recommendations for nearby sledding hills. Acquaintances opening new businesses. Photos of my kids' school events. There's an isolation that happens when you sequester yourself, even if comes from good intentions.

I attended a panel about publishing a couple of months before I finished drafting my novel. During the panel, a literary agent shed light on the role that social media plays in today's publishing world. My stomach dropped when she explained how seriously editors take an author's "following" and how much authors are expected to participate in marketing their books. I'd grown used to life without Instagram and Facebook. Would I lose my creativity and my patience if I returned?

When I tiptoed back into the world of likes and comments, I discovered that there's a vibrant community of writers on Instagram offering each other affirmation and commiseration. I had no idea that kind of support was out there during my solitary writing years. It's been a bit like taking an independent study as I relearn this social media world, but it's been tremendously reassuring to realize that I'm not alone. There are so many new authors out there traveling the same roads and facing the same unknowns. Goodbye, isolation!

But the tricky thing about social media is that we're marketing ourselves. There have been wonderful perks, too, like reconnecting with old friends and knowing when Harry Potter week is happening at the gelato shop. And I have no words for how grateful I am for the outpouring of support from my friends and family. It's been exceptionally freeing to tell people about my novel (which is probably a big enough topic for a future blog post, so I'll put a pin in it for now).

Marketing, though? It's AWKWARD. We're told to promote ourselves and our work so that editors will take us seriously. Okay, I can wrap my head around that. But I'm also acutely aware that I'm not a published author. This book might never be published. I'm heading into a swirl of unknowns once my agent and I go on submission. It's such a clumsy balance, trying to cheer yourself on (and encourage others to cheer you on, too), without coming across as arrogant. I can't stand arrogance. It's obnoxious and it's everything I don't want to be.

What do I want to be? Authentic. Candid. Excited when good things happen in my writing world, and honest when they don't. Presenting our genuine selves to the world is one of the greatest gifts we can give, and I want to safeguard that practice in my posts online.

So, I'm going to keep trying to show all sides of this journey. I'm going to celebrate when something's worth celebrating. I'm going to share real feelings, even when they're not wrapped in excitement. I'm going to keep relearning how to manage this world that I once rejected. And I'm going to give myself grace when I fall short. I hope you can, too. Progress, not perfection.