This piece originally appeared in a compilation of alumni Advent reflections, organized by the chaplain at Hamilton College. I participated in the project from 2019-2022, and brought me profound peace each December. I hope the message resonates with you, even though it was originally published in 2021:
December 1st might be my favorite day of the year. It heralds the arrival of the month where I both retreat and engage in ways I too often neglect during the rest of the year.
In recent years, I’ve made a conscious effort to minimize obligations during December. Easier said than done, and a rogue appointment certainly makes its way onto the calendar now and then. But I’ve discovered something about myself lately, something that’s obvious in hindsight: when I’m rushed, I become anxious and impatient. I feel unsettled when I get to my destination. Not surprisingly, when I give myself grace for being imperfect, I become kinder. I enjoy my surroundings and the people in them.
So, this year, I’m trying to give myself and my family the space to prioritize the wonder of the season. We’re retreating from errands and choices that are superfluous or that can be rescheduled. And, instead, we’re engaging. We’re reading cherished Christmas books by the tree, aglow in its majesty. We’re pausing dinner preparations to dance in the kitchen when a favorite holiday song comes on. We’re stopping in our tracks during gift shopping to look at a store window lit with glittery magic.
Sometimes, chores take over. The laundry has to be folded, even though I’d rather spend the morning playing carols on the piano. And not every moment can be spent basking in the splendor of the Christmas tree, even though I’d sit by it all day long if I could. So, when the necessities of life mean that we do need to get to school, I’m learning to give myself time to practice more patience than comes naturally to me. When I leave enough time for my children to tell a joke as they put on their boots, the spirit of Christmas stays with us, even though we’re not near the tree anymore. We carry it with us as we sing a carol on our drive to school.
When we retreat from the daily rush and we engage with the beauty right in front of us, we can find joy in the simplest things. We can see Christmas all around us. It takes intentionality and it takes practice. I’m not an expert at it yet. I expect I may never be. But every time the effort brings me peace, brings me wonder, brings me joy, I am grateful.
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